Just a 15 minute coffee!

.

From the back of my taxi cab, I snap a video:

 Just landed in LA… going to be here crushing work for a few days! Get it team!!

Over the next hour, I get tweets, snaps, and emails.

Mike! Can you…

  • Grab a quick workout while you are here?!
  • Eat Chipotle!
  • Discuss my new app that you will love
  • Let me pick your brain about online training
  • Motivate me because I already watched all your youtube vids

A snapchat buddy, a previous coaching client, a hustler entrepreneur, a PT friend from Facebook, and a 17 year old who apparently loves my youtube channel…

I am sickeningly grateful that ANYONE wants to meet with me.

Seriously. And I will never let that appreciation fade.

It is the highest honor: my work has impacted you enough that you want to spend time with me.

But if I keep saying “yes,” I am going to lose.

.

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes…

In the beginning of an endeavor, you should say yes to everything.

Yes to every coffee. Yes to phone calls. Yes to prospective clients who will only work with you for an 87% discount.

You gorilla market with sidewalk chalk, pound fitness forums until three in the morning, and help every person you can for free.

You throw every strand of spaghetti at the wall, praying that any of it will stick.

Then… you flip a switch.

You go all-in on what works.

yes..yes…. NO!!!

To go all in, you have to say no.

You have to say no a lot.

Like, basically to everything.

You have to say no to everything except the handful of actions that serve as white space for you.

Maybe it’s networking at conferences.

Maybe it’s sending PR kits to big media companies.

Maybe it’s hosting live stream events online.

For me, my white space is delivering unparalleled service to my clients while putting out the best written and video content I can muster. All while continuing to take care of myself and the people I love.

That’s literally it.

But to accomplish this, we have to have tunnel vision.

Winning is a narrow road, and there are 1000 tempting exits on our journey.

Not just the occasional concrete mixer, I’m talking about temptations masked as productivity: podcasts, guest blogging, local tv spots, and a million other “opportunities” that can help us.

But they don’t help as much as driving the narrow road.

Don’t exit. Keep driving.

If you found your white space, do that. Taking an exit is procrastinating the real action.

If you have writer’s block, of course you want to jump on a podcast and shoot the shit with your buddy for “better distribution.” But what you should really do is put your butt in the chair and stroke keys.

Here is a better example for you:

Picture this.

It is your third week on a new fitness program.

Strength training four days per week, eating mostly nutritious foods, and staying in a moderate calorie deficit.

Talk about vanilla.

Fifteen days in, you are down 3.5 pounds and feeling pretty “meh” about it.

I mean, your sister-in-law supposedly lost 20 pounds in 28 days by cutting sugar. Your family says “macros are obsessive.” And every magazine cover, informercial, and Instagram post says you need this celebrity’s workout or that new supplement.

These are all exits on the narrow road of fitness.

Be patient, and keep putting pavement behind you.

The spaghetti that sticks are tried-and-true principles, not fad diets.

.

Yesterday was my 29th birthday.

And I feel so good.

I know exactly what I need to do.

It’s abundantly clear, right in front of my face.

I just need to take it.

And taking it means saying no… a lot.

It means driving the narrow road.

That’s why I’m posting this.

Because I hate saying no.

I hate letting you down.

I fear being disliked.

So I want to explain myself.

Of course I want to…

  • drive down to Hermosa beach for an AM leg day
  • drive up to West Hollywood for a burrito lunch
  • drive over to Venice for an afternoon coffee

But that means sacrificing my mission.

And I can’t do that.

I hope you understand.

I’m not “big time.”

I don’t think I’m better than anyone.

I just know what I need to do to win.

I still reply to every snap (the ones that doesn’t disappear first).

I still reply to every email.

But I am about to dial in harder than ever.

.

Let me leave you with this: “A Professional Emailer”

Neil Gaiman is a famous author who said the following during a commencement speech in 2012:

“There was a day when I looked up and realized that I had become someone who professionally replied to email. And who wrote as a hobby. I started answering fewer emails… and was relieved to find I was writing much more.” (8:57)

At first, say yes to everything.

Then find your thing.

And drive the narrow road.

.

Now, what are the odds I can stop writing blog equivalents of “Remember To Breathe” and actually finish that sushi post!

You can contact me directly on snapchat (mikevacanti) or by email 🙂



Comments for This Entry

  • Angela

    Sometimes the narrow road make your life simpler. You know where you are going and how to get there.

    April 9, 2016 at 7:58 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Jane

    Great post. I'm inspired by your commitment to post weekly, and I'm cheering you on. Keep going.

    April 10, 2016 at 10:18 am | Reply to this comment

  • Rosaleen Drummond

    Happy late birthday Mike! (...and this post rings so true!)

    April 11, 2016 at 3:34 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Kevin

    Stay the path! In the end, sometimes taking those exits will be regrets that will keep you from your overall objectives as you have pointed out so clearly. You are inspirational to many and have and continue to make an impact on many lives.

    April 12, 2016 at 7:09 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Paula

    Great article! I would start saying no to NO LATE SNACKS! The unhealthy ones. Bc working 10 hrs shifts would take a toll of my nutrition if I don't prepare my meals for the day.

    April 13, 2016 at 9:58 am | Reply to this comment

  • Charlotte

    Love this. I'm currently ill, and I'm sure it's at least partly due to the fact that I've said yes too many times, stretched myself too thin, and done no favors to my immune system. Thanks for the perspective!

    April 13, 2016 at 10:00 am | Reply to this comment

  • Regine

    I have started saying no to social stuff. Not a big deal for me, but my partner is extremely social, and he's been good about easing things up. I have a full-time job now and I'm also a) working on my CSCS, b) planning a new business, and c) working on my prereqs for physical therapy school, so there's just not enough time!

    April 13, 2016 at 10:05 am | Reply to this comment

  • Mary

    Great post! Love your articles. I'm saying no to the fad stuff out there....the miracle shakes, bars, no carb, no sugar, fast track. It's so easy to get sucked in to, but I'm in it for the long-term....head down, work hard, blinders on, and no thanks for me!

    April 13, 2016 at 10:09 am | Reply to this comment

  • Susan

    Great article. The thing I love about you Mike is your common sense. You can cut through the BS and get straight to the meat.

    April 13, 2016 at 10:10 am | Reply to this comment

  • Mak

    Love this...so true. Don't worry about what others think. Just keep being genuinely awesome you and drive that narrow road!

    April 13, 2016 at 10:24 am | Reply to this comment

  • Kat

    I am a serial 'exit taker' always concerned that the next idea will work better for losing weight, finishing what I am trying to get done, writing the book I've promised myself. Changing myself... you name it I pursue exits... Thanks for this Mike - a reminder at the right moment that maybe I need to continue with 'just' the marathon training and diet at the moment, get up that hour earlier everyday to get behind the keyboard and write and stop giving in to what 'feels good' or 'easier'... I decided yesterday (on a random Tuesday) I needed to start tackling all that 'exit baggage' this was just what I needed to keep my eye on the road instead of all the destinations that look like they could be beautiful side trips...

    April 13, 2016 at 10:30 am | Reply to this comment

  • Michael

    Loved the article, as always :) Happy belated birthday! I turn 29 this year as well, and am pivoting into fitness from a stable industry (engineering). I've also reached a point where I must begin saying no, mostly to personal training and video production related endeavors. Thank you for the awesome content!

    April 13, 2016 at 10:31 am | Reply to this comment

  • Heather

    Hey Mike great post yet again! ? I have learned this concept the hard way as most do. My focus has become clear over the last couple months. Having baby 3 about 7 months ago and figuring out a new lifestyle acclimated to the family of 5 and 2 pups with 2 full time working parents is a juggling act. Yet I made it priority to workout every morning, the family eats healthy, put the kids first over chores yet managing those as well each day making our lives easier. I learned to say no to my laziness and take control over my life. ?

    April 13, 2016 at 10:35 am | Reply to this comment

  • Sarah

    Need to say no to "networking" with coworkers at happy hour

    April 13, 2016 at 10:43 am | Reply to this comment

  • Chris carter

    Great post... The focus is so important... If you chase everything you fail at everything when you focus on a goal you achieve a goal... Hence our new training relationship... A focus for success...

    April 13, 2016 at 10:45 am | Reply to this comment

  • Mimi Routh

    Oh, another precious Aries! Happy day, Mike! I've lost 28 pounds just by writing everything down, going for veggies, etc. I don't get invitations so much as I'm way-laid by people who simply MUST present their case! A black man in New York State answered at the suicide hot line for veterans when I was at the end of my rope. I asked him how black people cope. He said when people get in your face with "Hey, man, what time is it?" and "Hey, man, got a light?" and all the nonsense that would trip a person up, drain energy, steal joy -- he said just keep going. He told me to make a list of what is important, what I want to do. And just keep going! How am I going to find time to practice piano and meditate if I stop to hear about someone's surgery! . . . I've been re-listening to Stuart Wilde's book "Infinite Self" about just dealing with all the other entities who are ego-driven, seeking recognition. We have to tame our own ego in this process! We can plan our fun times and our rest and requisite stretches of good hard work! It is not necessary to be liked when we refuse to participate in nonsense! We must respect our own path.

    April 13, 2016 at 10:47 am | Reply to this comment

  • Joe Boyd

    Great post as always Mike. Totally understand where you are coming from with this. I've been moving in the same direction recently too!

    April 13, 2016 at 10:48 am | Reply to this comment

  • Karen

    This is brilliant. The part about sticking to your 'vanilla' workout and diet plan really resonated with me. Definitely going in my 'save and read again' file. P.S. Thanks for answering my email :)

    April 13, 2016 at 10:51 am | Reply to this comment

  • Vinny

    Wow, just wow. This is such a great article that I'm going to keep referring back to. I absolutely need to work on saying no. I hate feeling like I let people down. Love the "1000 exits" concept as well. Resonates with me so much. Thanks Mike!

    April 13, 2016 at 10:52 am | Reply to this comment

  • Sheila

    I'm going to start saying "Yes" to get to my NO. YES, I will do tempo runs to get faster. Yes, to weight training consistently, Yes, to concepts that are scary and challenging. All of these will lead me to No.

    April 13, 2016 at 10:57 am | Reply to this comment

  • Drifter Mama

    Great post Mike! Happy Belated Birthday! I sooooo needed this post. I complain about not having time to work out and I am realizing that it's not that I don't have time, it's that I don't make time. My biggest time suck is that I just don't want to take the time to drive to the gym. It's just plain laziness really. Thanks for the kick in the ass to stay on my road.

    April 13, 2016 at 10:58 am | Reply to this comment

  • Rob Russo

    Love the FOCUS! And, yes, I'm looking forward to that sushi post! ??

    April 13, 2016 at 10:59 am | Reply to this comment

  • Mike Oliver

    I recently made a promise to myself to put my health, my business and my family before anything else. It's amazing how many people have stopped emailing or calling for free advice when I tell them every minute of my time is billed. I have always been one to help other businesses and friends, but when I realized my business, health and family was being compromised because of lack of time in the day, I chose to be selfish. Sounds bad I know, but if I don't have the time in the day to take care of myself, family and what makes me money how am I expected to help everyone else.

    April 13, 2016 at 11:01 am | Reply to this comment

  • JustG

    Im going to say no to adding the people who followed me on snapchat after downloading ghostcodes lol Another great article, Mike. I'm glad to hear about this "no" road. It was lovely to see you enjoying your birthday and having some down time (even though you still didn't stop grinding). If there's one person who should keep coming back to this article, it's you. I worry you'll beat yourself up saying no, some times ?

    April 13, 2016 at 11:05 am | Reply to this comment

  • Eric Sivin

    Great post, Mike! Happy birthday as well. Make it the best year yet. keep up the awesome content - I particularly look forward to your daily snaps.

    April 13, 2016 at 11:43 am | Reply to this comment

  • Lisa

    My heart is so full of appreciation, words can't express how grateful I am for you walking your narrow road Mike. Loved Neil's video, too - both your post and the video are inspirational. I'm going to start saying "no" to procrastination of meditation. No more "I'll start when..." just going to do it.

    April 13, 2016 at 11:44 am | Reply to this comment

  • Kristin Coon

    Thanks Mike! I'm saying no to unsupportive friends. I'm understanding that we're all in different stages in our careers and fitness and if my friends can't understand the importance of these two elements in my life, I have to say no to drinks, no to movies, no to shopping, and no to them. I don't like to ask people what they're doing, but rather what is your purpose? If you can separate and distinguish the two, chances are we're like-minded and can motivate one another. Success is subjective, but it's always earned.

    April 13, 2016 at 11:47 am | Reply to this comment

  • Lauren

    I'm going to say no to prospective clients I know are not a great fit for me so I can focus on the ones who are. Oh, and that second glass of wine...Thanks for all the great work Mike.

    April 13, 2016 at 11:48 am | Reply to this comment

  • Suzy

    Interesting idea that I would never have considered! Think I need to put some more no's in my life ta assist with my training and just take the 'you are so boring' comments for a bit

    April 13, 2016 at 12:01 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Lori

    I have recently said "no" to people that don't value my time. Time is precious.

    April 13, 2016 at 12:04 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Lexi Haggard

    Yo! Mike this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. I just started a new full time job, and I'm finishing out my old job for two more weeks. So I'm training the new one, working the old one, and to top it off I have finals this week and next. Needless to say I've been slacking on my workouts and I LOVE seeing your snaps of you putting in the work and long days to reach your goals! I even started sending the same messages to my friends and I just keep putting my head down and going through the tackle! Much love from south Florida :)

    April 13, 2016 at 12:11 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Deb

    Happy 29th Birthday! Thank you for the reminder. Great wisdom. Keep going!!

    April 13, 2016 at 12:23 pm | Reply to this comment

  • chelle

    Narrow road. Although different circumstances, same struggle. As a mom, I am always saying yes, yes, yes. Taking care of everyone, before me. Lately I have been trying to change that, one step at a time. I have even gone so far to tell my kids, "you know when they give you instructions before a flight to put the oxygen on first then help who you are with. For me, that is going to the gym. I am taking care of me, so I can care for you". I totally feel bad when I can't help at the school, because it is leg day or I need to escape early to make it to yoga. I feel selfish, but really I need to narrow my road. Thanks for writing this. Reading someone that is open, vulnerable, admits to being afraid is so refreshing and inspiring.

    April 13, 2016 at 12:26 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Ty

    The fitness analogy for tunnel vision was great! Happens every day! I'm new to the fitness industry, so any chance I can get to write, teach, share, video, etc. and have an audience ready is pretty sweet, so I'm in the "yes all the things" moment. Right now, time is on my side, I have a lot of it to practice with, however, other coaches on our team, don't. They have other jobs, other businesses, they don't have the time I do. They need incentive. And I've grown to understand through this moment that even given a lot of time, to NEVER undervalue it. Use it wisely, and make sure others understand that too.

    April 13, 2016 at 12:30 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Barbara Kiehn

    Great post, I need this today. I have been so discouraged with family illness and difficulties for those I love that I don't get out and exercise. I've managed to lose 29 lbs since Sept thru healthy eating and walking. I fractured my back in September and totalled my car and it's been difficult at best. I am 71 and my doctor told me years ago, lose the weight before you're in your 60's because then it's nearly impossible. The first video I saw by you has been my go to inspiration, where you talked about the elderly going to nursing homes because they could not walk and move. Thank you so much for all you do and a belated Happy Birthday. Going walking now -- you got me out of my chair.

    April 13, 2016 at 12:47 pm | Reply to this comment

  • JoAnne WALIN

    your blogs are great, keeps me on track. You should definitely NOT feel the need to comment!

    April 13, 2016 at 12:50 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Hanson Le

    Agreed! Going all in on that 20% that gives you 80% of the results. Loving the frequent posts brother!

    April 13, 2016 at 1:18 pm | Reply to this comment

  • rebecca

    i love the dashboard refrence! you're such a motivator Mike! your attitude is contagious and has been helping through a craptastic break up and moving twice already this year. Keep grinding!

    April 13, 2016 at 1:19 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Mac

    How timely! I find myself at this very junction, "mid-switch-flip" so to speak. Mike, I am experiencing a sweeping "No!" to all the nonsense distracting me from building a business that will yield fianancial independence for my family. Stop nonsense spending, delay my gratification, live simply now to grow and cultivate better character thus better business fruit. Time to act like and become a man of profound integrity and quality caliber. Thank you for your writing, messages, and simply the gift of yourself! P.S. "Mike Vacanti" aka "M.V." aka "MegaVolt." nice.

    April 13, 2016 at 1:27 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Rose

    Great Post and Happy Belated Birthday! Here is my problem. There is not too much that I can say no to- I workout, go to my job, then go home to sleep. There is not too much socializing to cut out. My issue is that I want to start a nutrition business and I have no idea what road to take to get there. I got my Precision Nutrition L1 Certification in January and don't know what to do next. The yesses are my problem. Any suggestions would be wonderful! :-)

    April 13, 2016 at 1:48 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Leah Rosevear

    This is a great post. I had a nervous breakdown and developed panic disorder 15 years ago. One person can only do so much - I was working full time , studying, exercising and running around looking after my 4 children as a single mum. Pick ups after I finished work from child care centres or after school care before we got home to do all the things that needed to be done. I did most things that needed to be done (washing/cooking/cleaning/studying) after the children were in bed to have mum/children time but in the end it was all too much (I was becoming hugely sleep deprived) and I became sick. I had been as always eating well and exercising. Post getting better I was still doing too much and helping/listening to people - very few of who actually listened to me or even enquired as to how I or the children were! So I say no to people who don't ever give anything back and people I have to justify myself to and only reply to emails/sms's from people who really matter to me. I say no to extra work. I did a mindfulness course which really helped me feel better about myself. Learning to say "no" is so important for our health.

    April 13, 2016 at 1:55 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Matt McLeod

    Hmm, I think I've heard of this as being called the "Yes Virus" by some older, smart, social media guru... ;) thank you for, yet another, great article brother.

    April 13, 2016 at 2:16 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Fred Wszolek

    Sadly, when people ask me what I do for a living, I generally tell them that I send and receive emails for a living. Professional fucking emailer. Gotta get off that merry-go-round. So what I need you to do is invent time travel, so I can go back in time and kill the person who invented email!

    April 13, 2016 at 3:27 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Romeo

    I am saying NO to excuses I make for not getting shit done. No more excuses, gotta just get shit done. BTW does this mean NO to our workout while Im in NY?!

    April 13, 2016 at 3:38 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Hels

    YES YES YES to your post!! I am on day 9 of my home made "get shredded" 60 day wall chart which plans & tracks macros, training, kg, bf, waist and energy levels. Btw being a 46 year old mum with 3 teenagers and a full time corporate job shouldn't stop me... right!!??

    April 13, 2016 at 4:08 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Ambrose WB

    I'm getting the "pick your brain" messages for younger, budding fitness professionals...I'm overdue for my "Just A 15 Minute Coffee. I want people to like me too. But if I want to do what I do best - coach. I don't have time either. Thanks homey. Happy Birthday. Hope you got some ice cream!

    April 13, 2016 at 4:13 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Chantalle Camacho

    Awesome post! I am saying NO to people who just take and take and add no value to my life. Been doing it for a couple of weeks and I feel good already :) Keep up the good work tho Mike and kudos to u for all these articles u write.

    April 13, 2016 at 4:52 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Christena

    I liked this post a lot. I'm saving for a downpayment on a house. So despite wanting to stay social I'm going to start saying no to meals out. If my friends want to see me we can do free things. :) like work out with me....who knows... maybe I'll get them OTR too.

    April 13, 2016 at 5:04 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Ty Leisher

    Hey Mike! Loved the article. Happy early birthday. I know you're familiar with GaryVee's Jab Jab Jab Right Hook theory, but how would you utilize that if you focus on the narrow road? What if that podcast is a jab? Or that meeting across town? Should you sacrifice all of that to focus on your road?

    April 13, 2016 at 5:54 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Dano

    Great article, great points...now just wishing I could've gotten on the Vacanti train a couple of years ago!! Definitely missing out on that 87% discount!! You're a very personable person Mike, make me feel like we've been friends for a couple of years whenever you reply to my Snaps..."teammate Dano" has a nice ring to it...if you remember! Anyway...I think being from MN grants me at least 83% off!! Haha (still waiting for that protein post...the whole, not sticking to a certain brand for everything the whole time).

    April 13, 2016 at 6:08 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Chris Reid

    Mmm, so true Mike. This is me to a tee. Say yes to everything, fear being disliked, don't want to let anyone down or disappoint anyone. Who am I doing this for? Me? or for the people? Yes I am doing it for "the people" because I want to help as many as I can, but I also do this work because it is satisfying and rewarding. i find myself veering off track so often, often because i get distracted and want to do so many things all at once - and also because i procrastinate and doubt that I am doing will "work." I'm often starting again

    April 13, 2016 at 6:21 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Debra

    Hey Mike After reading this post and letting it sink in for me right now I'm going to say no to people infringing on my personal workout time. I'm just starting back up slowly (and sorely) lol and I need to say no to be in it to win it!

    April 13, 2016 at 6:37 pm | Reply to this comment

  • James Upright

    Happy belated. Love the Snaps. I'm going to start saying "NO" to hitting the snooze button. Keep grinding!

    April 13, 2016 at 6:45 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Vicki M

    Sushi post? Hells yeah! I'm trying to stick to the "vanilla" and I do have faith, but I'm worried I'm not doing the right vanilla things to make it work. You're doing awesome, Mike :) I hope there was plenty of ice cream cake for that 29th birthday.

    April 13, 2016 at 10:00 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Reba

    Great article! Saying yes has been my BIGGEST hurdle to sticking to a plan and really always putting myself/health/fitness first. I am finally learning how to say no, and this article speaks to me!!

    April 13, 2016 at 11:52 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Jeff Cox

    Great article about a particularly difficult topic. Oh in general the idea of putting first things first, it almost seems obvious to me... but then the reality of execution, the (in)ability to choose when to say yes or now, the inevitable feeling that you are disappointing someone by saying no...

    April 13, 2016 at 11:55 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Gavin Bell

    Love this Mike. So important to go all in on the things that work - which means saying no to a lot.

    April 14, 2016 at 5:57 am | Reply to this comment

  • Nick C

    Legit Mike, you the perspective and advice of someone far older. It is refreshing to hear your honesty, humor, and your passion through your snaps. Keep the good content coming brother. If you're ever in Dallas, hit me up!

    April 14, 2016 at 6:49 am | Reply to this comment

  • Caroline Leppin

    I love the narrow road....I love more that someone has Said it out loud!! That way I don't feel So weird and selfish ?

    April 14, 2016 at 6:57 am | Reply to this comment

  • Gul Muhammad

    Brilliant article as always Mike :D

    April 14, 2016 at 6:59 am | Reply to this comment

  • Julija

    Makes me understand my friends better and understand how I can procrastinate less. It's all about balance in life isn't it?

    April 14, 2016 at 7:16 am | Reply to this comment

  • Becca

    You are awesome Mike! Really, I just wanted to tell you that. :)

    April 14, 2016 at 10:59 am | Reply to this comment

  • Jordan Thoms

    Dude, this was awesome. Glad to see you have that balance in check and awareness to keep the grind going and focus on what matters. This has been my life for the past several years. Just saying YES too much, spreading myself out too thin - my time, my energy, my experience, my resources...just WAY too much stress and sometimes going in circles instead of forward motion. I've been successful with my schooling and career, but I know it can be so so so much more. Last few months I've been trimming a lot of extra stuff I don't necessarily need to commit my time/energy to, and have been turning it on 200% to what I truly want to focus on in life. All I've been reading is content from you and Gary V (there's even a Gary V quote in the Business class I'm in now!), and it's all been incredible helpful, and I'm always referring people to your stuff, because it's genuine and authentic. I'm gonna definitely have to read this again and again, take some notes and put it into my action plan online coaching/teaching. Great article Mike!!!

    April 14, 2016 at 12:25 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Ann

    I need to say "No" to the fear of helping myself. I've been an athlete all my life (figure skater) even as an Adult. I was always passionate about skating and taking care of myself. Then, the last six years happened. My marriage failed (my husband decided he needed a 21 yr. old girlfriend), my mother suffered a huge health crisis which became a downhill battle until she passed two years ago. I discovered my business partners were literally looting the Company and attempting to throw me under the bus (their scheme did not work). I weathered several "storms" and then last May I was diagnosed with breast cancer! (I was very fortunate that I detected it so early and the tumor, along with six lymph nodes were removed). The fact that I was extremely lucky to have caught it so early and the surgery and treatment was considered a success, has not been lost on me. I am so grateful that I was so fortunate. Through all of this, I have lost my passion, not just to skate, but for pretty much anything. I started smoking...when my mom was on life support and I still do, only at night, to decompress and destress....I guess I'm a closet smoker, but I don't want to be any kind of smoker and I hate it. Yet, there is more of the fear. Why? I have no idea. I force myself to go out and do things, but some days it's so hard and I just want to be with my dogs and stay home. I guess I just feel lost. After my cancer surgery and I was done with radiation, my ex and another friend, signed me up and covered the cost of a Personal Trainer, but then he moved away. Ok, so may I've deviated from the subject at hand and I apologize, but I guess I just needed to get this out. I don't know where this fear comes from. Failure? Success? I need to figure it out. I need to find my passion again.

    April 14, 2016 at 12:38 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Kolein

    No, is my favorite word. It literally beckons my cortisol to sit comfortably on a cushion, and lounge a bit. When I speak it out loud, softly, sometimes into the phone, or type it gently on my laptop and other times with a light touch of the thumbs on my phone I feel like I'm a bird a flight. When I tell my sons, "No, not today" or my husband, "No Honey that won't work out for me" the earth still revolves around the sun. I have a sweet smile now. And that divot in my forehead - almost gone. These peri-menopausal, baby bearing 15# are next. You are an inspiration. Thank you...simply for being here and caring for folks. Have a really beautiful day.

    April 14, 2016 at 2:42 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Greg

    Just quit drinking and smoking and went out and bought a bike. Stopped scanning depressing news stories and started Googling health topics and somehow found you. Love the inspirational blogs and you're sense of humor is classic. Glad I have you now to keep me feeling guilty every time a lazy ass thought passes through my brain. It's been 2 weeks and I've lost ten pounds and went from almost going into cardiac arrest riding my new bike home from the bike store a mile away to pounding out 7-10 mile rides. Look forward to your daily slaps - G

    April 14, 2016 at 7:37 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Bonnie C

    Afraid to be disliked? Appreciate you voicing the vulnerability, it makes you real. Saying no was for me about inevitably disappointing someone, but after your post I can frame it as narrowing my focus to what really generates value in m life and helps me reach my goals. Loved the post - I have new resolve.!

    April 14, 2016 at 9:52 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Jon Stewart

    Love this Mike. I experience this just via coaching, can't imagine how many requests there would be as a coach with the size of following you have (and in NYC). Your blog is the final 'kick in the pants' to get my own in circulation. Thank you.

    April 15, 2016 at 11:35 am | Reply to this comment

  • Krysten

    Just read this, Mike! Thank you for sharing this when you answered my YouTube question!

    January 27, 2017 at 5:50 pm | Reply to this comment

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